2010 in review

It seems like all my days are the same and run together until I took a minute to realize that another year has come and gone.  Amazingly all those mundane days resulted in a busy, okay year.  Everything changes and yet seems to stay the same.

In the fall hubby and I discovered that we would be welcoming our first child.  I had been so, so, so tired and run down.  I thought it was related to the stress of work, but around the time I became so tired the stressful work conditions had been resolved and were almost history.  My boss asked me if I could be pregnant.  I laughed and told her no way, impossible and then I wondered.... 

I had long since given up on the idea of having a family of my own and I really enjoy just spending time with my husband - just us.  Sure, 50 years down the road we may be lonely, but for now, it is pure bliss.  While we don't have a huge income - we have enough for what we need and enough to plan to make changes to our house, take vacations, and do whatever we want.

I wish I could say I was thrilled when I saw the little "+" on the dip stick.  I wasn't upset or anything, I just thought "Well, that's different."  I left a "present" for hubby when he came home with the news and I got a text back "Wow".  He's excited, but it's a shock for us both. 

The news has been very overwhelming, but at the appointment at the doctor did an ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat and little arm.  It's hard not to be just a little excited at that point, but I was still overwhelmed and wouldn't say "excited".  Twelve weeks later we were at the 20 week ultrasound where we were able to find out the gender of our child.  At that point - it's impossible not be in love.  I don't know that I'll be a very good mom, but there's no doubt I will love my child.

I am excited for April 30th - when we will meet my son.  (Yes, he will arrive on his due date because everything else has worked out exactly as I've planned so far- please send the dripping sarcasm in that phrase.) 

Overall, I have felt very lucky that this pregnancy has not been so tough.  I've avoided morning sickness and nausea for the most part - meat is disgusting, but it is now getting better.  I have continued to work out and every test seems to be normal and healthy - I hope that continues to be the case.

Decisions

"At times men are perplexed and full of trouble..."  I don't remember who said that quote, but it is true.  I think it is fascinating to watch people -- at any time, but particularly during times of confusion or in a state of minor emergency.  Watching a little child process something they are seeing for the first time is amazing.  Observing the individual complaining about circumstances that could have been avoided if they had considered the consequences rather than living on impulse.  Life is experienced through "living", but I think a lot of life can be learned through viewing too.

When life throws hard things at you, how do you cope with them?  When life is "easy" are you grateful?  While my life isn't quite as I imagined it to be I wouldn't change much about it at all.  I have learned a lot watching the experiences of others.  Some things I have tried or would love to try to implement things in my life.  Other things have made me more aware of behaviors that would be best avoided, not only for my own personal happiness, but to make the lives of those whom I affect easier.

I am grateful to all those people who have been example of positive and the polar opposite examples to me.  I wonder who I would be without experience that I have enjoyed and observed. 

Love list

Lately I have felt that life is very mundane.  I do the same thing every day that it is easy to forget all the many little things that I am grateful for.  I'm stealing someone else's post to see if this will help me feel better about where I am in life:

10 Things I'm thankful for:

1. My husband:  We've been married 7 years ago today.  I've loved every single moment and am looking to so many more.

2.  To not be hurt by a bad economy:  With so many people struggling with their homes, loss of jobs, unable to feed their families, I feel almost guilty that I am glad the economy allows my husband to keep his job, but still come home early enough to spend more time with me.

3.  To have a job:  Not only a job, but a career where I feel like I can make a difference in the world.  Not very many people can say that.

4.  Health:  This past year my husband and I have worked hard to improve our health and fitness.  I am thrilled that we have seen physical benefits, but I am more have a good understanding on how to remain healthy and be so clear into old age.

5.  Family:  I'm admittedly a bad daughter, granddaughter, sister, and aunt, but I love my family and my husband's family even though I don't show it.  It is good to have a support system.

6.  Technology:  How cool is Google?  If you have a random question about soil samples, bam, you can find it in a matter of seconds.  It's enough to make me want to try to garden.

7.  Farmers:  I'm so glad I don't have to grow my own food.  I'm afraid I would die.

8.  A good massage:  There's nothing like a spa day - whether it be a massage, facial, pedicure, etc to bring energy back into the tired body.

9.  Water:  I like waterfalls, drinking water, looking at the ocean, the sound of rain.  Water is a very invigorating life source.

10.  Lastly, but hardly least:  My testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation.  I can't imagine living without knowing the purpose to life and that there is so much more than what I currently am experiencing.

A whole new blog on how my husband sucks....

Remember the Robert Browning poem written for his beloved wife?  "How do I love thee, let me count the ways..."?  This blog is the opposite of that.

I had started a blog about nothing, when my husband said "you're not hungry are you?"  It is 7:00 and we were going to call to order dinner from Cafe Rio for our "it's Saturday, let's sit on the couch and not let the lady cook day."  I said that I was kind of hungry and asked him to call (we have the number in both of our cell phone address books - that's how pathetic we are.  Worse than that, the kid at Cafe Rio knows our order before we even reach the pick up counter).  Anyway, Terry picked up the phone, dialed and passed it to me, disrupting my blog and saying "are you going to write a whole new blog on how your husband sucks?" so that is what I am going to do...

1. 

Even though he is very frustrating sometimes, I can't think of any reasons why he sucks.  I don't know of anyone else who would put up with my many idiosyncrasies.  He read me an article tonight advising women to stop looking for Mr. Right because they will never find him.  While Mr. Perfect does not exist I can confirm that Mr. Right does.  I found him at the perfect time and have had a perfect life since.

Happy almost 7th anniversary, Toad.

Love, The Lady

Global warming?

The news has come out that researchers may have fudged some of their numbers to prove that global warming exists and that we humans are destroying out planet. Climategate has hit the news. Whether they have or have not is not the issue I want to tackle. I think the damning evidence that it is below freezing constitutes sufficient proof that something is up with our planet. Is it the next ice age?

My poor Earth. It has existed for so long and gone through so many cycles of life and change, to her this is probably just another phase. The fact that I am on the planet during this change is significant - to me. Extreme heat and extreme cold confirm to me that Ms. Earth is moody and is looking for a change. (Could it be Earth menopause?)

Just after Thanksgiving, around the beginning of December I was walking to my office. There was no snow on the ground yet, but it was bone-chilling cold. (As an arthritic woman, I know what bone chilling is...) I was enduring the cold and glad there was no snow; however, I was looking forward to snow because it may warm things up. Fast forward less than two weeks or so and now we have snow. Enough that (were it ever to get warm enough) it won't melt. It has not warmed up at all. If anything it is even colder.

I am hoping that winter will say goodbye by March and that we will enjoy a nice Spring. However, given our moody planet, it may be a short Spring and she will walk us right into a blistering hot Summer. I like the hot. I like getting into my car in mid-July and having a suffocating heat. It's like a great big hug. I don't like the hot steering wheel and I'm sure come Summer I will have something to complain about.

In the meantime, I will endure the winter because I know that it will not last forever. I will be patient and wait for the Earth to get over herself. I hope she can go back to the way she was in my lifetime without too much change.

Making Time

In an attempt to improve accountability and productivity in our office we were introduced to an accountability coach. For a ton of money per hour she gave us "tools" to "fix ourselves."

No one is perfect. Everyone has one thing or another they can improve on. Everyone can learn to be a little more accountable.

In one of our one-on-one meetings she told me to throw out all of my to do lists and use a tool she referred to as a "Complete Each Day Completely." First of all, as a to do list addict how am I to simply do away with the list? Without my task list I am convinced I would be unable to do my job - how would I know which client needed what?! Her rationale is that people who use to do lists try to cram too much into one day. She claims that we believe we can "make time."

Yesterday I made a short list of things to do when I got home. Nothing huge - simply a few little things (vacuum, weeding, make dinner, and go to the gym). Sadly, the only thing that got done was the gym.

This morning I woke up at 4:30am just because. However, in that amount of time I did my vacuuming and threw stuff into a crockpot for dinner. Two things on my "to do list" were done. I think I understand why to do lists can be detrimental - it can be completely devastating when things on the list are left undone. Added stress. No fun.

Even if I don't physically have a list written down there is always a to do list running in my head -- laundry, pay bills, pick up dry cleaning, call family, church stuff, and on and on and on.

Is it possible to exist without a to do list? Is it possible to have a to do list without "making time" and waking up at an thinkable hour because there are things that need to be done and I am trying to make time?

It's been awhile

T tells me that my blog has dropped to the "obscure" list on the many, many blogs he follows.

For our birthday we decided to get a laptop. For months now we've been sitting on the couch watching whatever shows we have piled up on the Tivo (oh I'm sorry, our Tivo died and now we have the horrible DirectTV DVR -- that is a blog for another time). Anyway, we've frequently mentioned how convenient it would be to be able to sit on the couch enjoying our time together all while working, Facebooking (is that a verb?), and other diversionary tactics to keep us multi-tasking so that we feel productive all while watching football games that never seem to progress.

The laptop is great. There is truly nothing better than schlumping on the couch with the world at my fingertips. Sometimes it is too much power. Where to go...what to do. I generally just end up playing Maijong - a fantastically addicting tile game that could be similar to dominos -- depending on what version is played.

So with the new laptop and the additional hour of "free time" I have found each day, perhaps I can revive this blog to a more satisfactory status.

There is one great downside to the laptop; however, it has greatly decreased the amount of cuddle time we enjoy each night. Perhaps I will need to introduce a time limit.

So many random thoughts running through my head, but all will have to be for another time. Time's up.