Really random thoughts

So I have no idea where this post will go.  So many thoughts running through my head...

First observation:  I think this is one of the first times I have been on the laptop since Baby Toad was born.  I seem to get in such a rut that getting on the computer (which is too much of a pain to turn on and is downstairs and lonely and stealing the laptop from Big Toad seems to difficult and besides, he's "working."

Second random thought:  Baby Toad is over 8 months old.  Time has gone by so fast.  We seem to have a good schedule down -- although, just when I say that I decide it needs "tweaking" and it all get messed up again.  Right now is one of the first times that I have been in his presence and he has sat and played quietly.  Normally (even just an hour ago) he sees Mom and cries to be held.  I'm a sucker and always give in.  Who wouldn't want to snuggle with the cutest baby ever? Besides, I have lots of "mother's guilt" that I don't pay enough attention to him.

He wakes up around 7:00 every morning.  I feed him, dress him and then go to the basement to work while I leave him on the floor and say "shhhh? every two minutes.  He generally gets tired around 9:00 and down for a nap he goes.  By the time he wakes up I have left for work (and Big Toad his home -- I didn't want you to think I just abandoned my child by himself.)  I may have some level of incompetence when it comes to this mothering thing, but I'm not criminal.  I go off to work and after my long day is done, go to the gym.  We do a swap -- I take Baby Toad home while Big Toad works out.  I get a little time to bathe baby, fix dinner, get showered, feed Baby Toad and put him to bed, eat dinner, watch some random show and go to bed all to do it again.  All in all I get about 3 hours "quality" time with my baby.  So sad.  Yet sometimes, it is just the right amount.

There are some things about this whole mothering thing that I am comfortable with.  There are a lot that I have absolutely no clue about.  Who would have thought food would be such a difficult thing.  At first I figured I'd make my own baby food.  I gave up on that thought when I realized I didn't know what to feed him.  Just let good 'ol Gerber take care of it.  The problem was decided which "stage" he was in.  Did we start too late?  Is he stage 1 or 2.  Now he's starting to "crawl".  Is he a crawler (stage 3) or still a sitter (stage 2)?  Do I feed him 3 meals a day?  Do I feed him food in addition to his bottle?  Can he get by without ever having juice?

I've read babies shouldn't have cow's milk until 1 year old.  If so, why is yogurt and cottage cheese ok now?  Then I get so confused by all the "research" that comes out for adults and how it relates to infants and children.  The Paleo diet says dairy, starch, sugar, legumes are the root of all evil.  Does my baby really need rice cereal -- or any cereal for that reason?  Research shows that Soy messes with hormones and that bread will make you fat. 

The one thing I'm grateful for, is that so far, Baby Toad is a good eater.  Probably because I am starving him to death.  (He's chubby enough that I know that's not true.)

Isn't that sad -- of all the troubles parents face with children, my greatest challenge is whether I'm feeding mine well and enough.  I'm so lucky I don't have any "real" problems. 


Next random thought:  It wasn't that long ago and I do remember my schedule before child, but I feel so out of touch with everything.  I don't know what I'd do without my husband.  Without him I would have no idea what the polls in South Carolina are doing.  (One of the most ignorant State's in the Union, in my opinion.)  Or which athlete is doing what, or a plethora of other random things that happen in a day, such as the anniversary of 800,000 Chinese people dying in an earthquake a really long time ago.  It's amazing how many times I've been in a conversation and I say "oh yeah, my husband told me about that."  Seriously, people must think that I can't find something out on my own.

Third thought:  Will have to wait until later.  It's 7:30pm -- almost time for Baby Jake to go to bed.  He is sad and needs to cuddle and be rescued.  More on the rescue later.

A whole new world

I never thought that motherhood would be easy; however, I have no idea how to live my life.  I knew that things would be different and compromises would need to be made.  Today my new world is 2 weeks old.  It seems so short and yet seems like forever.

Baby Toad made his way into the world on his own.  I didn't need to be induced after all, which made me very happy.  I ended up going into labor around 12:30 am or so.  At 2:00 I realized my contractions were about 2 minutes apart, so I called my doctor.  I was supposed to call the hospital at 6:00 to confirm the induction, I thought I could hold out just a few more hours, but alas no.  My doctor told me to go to the hospital.  I got Toad out of bed and off we went.  We got to the hospital at 2:30 and my water broke right away.  There was no time for an epidural or anything - but again, that's okay because I hadn't planned on one anyway.  I had packed a bag full of things for the labor that never got used.  Baby Toad made his way into the world at 5:03am.

We spent about 2 days in the hospital.  Hospitals are not fun - even for such a fun occasion.  However, ironically as we were preparing to leave, Toad went to get the truck and I sat in the wheelchair with my child in his car seat on my lap feeling completely alone.  It was a scary feeling for a minute.

I knew babies sleep and eat a lot, but my baby really sleeps and eats (or tries) a lot.  After 1 week Baby Toad ended up back at the hospital for slight dehydration.  I am paranoid about feeding him too little and feeding him too much. 

Since coming home from the hospital (the second time) Baby Toad seems to be doing better.  He is awake for brief periods of time.  It will be fun to see his personality develop.  He is so cute and there are moments that are truly precious.  There are others that are incredibly frustrating and overwhelming.  One day I'll get this mom stuff down.

A happy, health pregnancy is drawing to a close -- I hope

The days are getting closer (14 to be exact) until Baby Boy is due.  He'd better not be late, I'll be so disappointed.  Husband is very excited to meet him.  I am very excited to meet him.  Part of me feels like time has gone by so fast and yet looking back it seems like the events from last year were so long ago!

As far as pregnancies go, I feel very fortunate.  Monday one of my neighbors had her baby boy.  I've never been so glad that someone's pregnancy was over in my whole life.  I understand that people get excited to have new little one's in the world.  Other parents are excited that now someone else's life can be just as miserable, uh, I mean wonderful as theirs.  But I think the real celebration is in the fact that women have overcome a huge hurdle (literally).

I don't know why some pregnancies are easier than others, but I do think there are things that can be done to alleviate a lot of the problems.  I don't know why I never had morning sickness or a lot of the things women complain about, but I do know why I have gained a healthy amount of weight and why I have been able to avoid a lot of pain.  Granted, don't get me wrong...pregnancy is not comfortable.

One night husband and I were watching TV and I had to roll off the couch (literally) to go to the bathroom for the 1,000th time that night.  He looked at me and asked "is it really that hard?"  I know he was being sarcastic, but yes, it really is that hard.  I told him to strap a 25 lb. ball to his belly and try to move.  Not an easy feat.

A couple of years ago I discovered CrossFit.  I know that it sounds like I drank the Kool-Aid, and I probably have, but this is a program that has changed my life.  First, it started out as a way for me to take a break from the daily grind of life - get up, go to work, go home...  Then it became a hobby that husband and I could do together on the weekends.  Then we became really committed and changed everything about the way we workout and eat.  These changes have been a great addition to my life.  I've met some great people, learned how to move my body correctly and learned that food is fuel.

From the time we became truly committed to CrossFit, husband and I lost a total of 60 pounds.  It wasn't just weight loss, it was fat loss and we gained muscle and tone.   By eating The Zone I am convinced I was able to overcome health issues that have plagued me for as long as I can remember.  I always just assumed my body was broken, but it wasn't my body, it was how I was treating it.  Once I overcame bad eating habits and eliminated stress from my life we are now fortunate to welcome our baby boy into the world.

Even after I discovered I was pregnant I have continued to workout.  People look at our workouts -- even when not pregnant -- and think I am insane, but there is no better way to alleviate pain and uncomfortableness than to go and throw some weight around and move into squats that relieve pain.  It also puts baby to sleep.  Granted, I can't do everything full scale.  One weekend I tried and while I felt good mentally my body wasn't so happy.

CrossFit has helped me keep my human figure while pregnant but more importantly it has helped me keep my body healthy and in proper form.  I don't (think) I waddle when I walk.  I am able to sit correctly and get out of a chair (as long as it's not a soft comfy couch) with little problem.  I am able to lift and carry things without harming myself.  Also, I feel like I am better prepared to raise a healthy, active child.  Hopefully I'll be able to do so :)

A fine line

I wonder what the line is in trying to be a supportive parent and a realist. "Sweet Pea" had a complaint about her mother that while she was growing up she had big dreams -- a singer, dancer, home decorator, and many other things. While some were obviously a huge stretch but others I believe that if that was what she wanted she could have obtained, but I tend to believe if a person works hard enough one way or another everything eventually works out.

I understand that "Sweet Pea's" mother was trying to protect her from disappointment, but at the same time couldn't be a little supportive with the dreams that could potentially be obtainable?

If any one was to support your ideas shouldn't it be your own mother? It's hard to be confident in yourself and abilities when the people who should support you most, don't. Where does a parent draw the line?

A happy place

I have so much running around through my brain that I have no idea where this random rant will take me -- this could be kind of fun, kind of lame or kind of scary....

So baby J is coming in a few short weeks -- I guess depending on how you look at the calendar it could be a ways off, or it could be just around the corner.  I hope, hope, hope that he doesn't come early (but not late either).  What are the changes of him coming right on time?

A couple of weeks ago my sister threw an "open house" for baby J.  The greatly appreciated items are still sitting in my living room waiting to be put away, although the clothes have been washed.  It was fun to launder the tiny little things.  I know that it is probably the only time that laundry has been or over will be fun.  One thing of note, have you ever noticed how soft the lint from the dryer is from baby stuff?

It seems so hard to find time to do things -- as I'm sitting on the couch, watching a TV show I hate, and writing this gibberish.  This last week was hectic and next week isn't looking much better.  I just wonder how people find time to do things and what ends up being sacrificed?  I haven't cleaned my house since the "open house".  Cleaning definitely gets pushed to the bottom of my list.  I feel guilt for having an environment that may not be sterile enough for a kid. (How pathetic is that?!  I know baby J will never notice and if anything will make more of a mess than the two of us ever did.)

There's still a lot do to and get before baby J comes.  T and I have been going to prenatal classes.  It makes for a really late night and it's okay that we have one night we don't make it to the gym.  I'm really bad about doing my "homework" though.  I rarely practice "relaxation".  The assignment for this week is writing about my "happy place".  How pathetic it is that trying to find such a place is stressful and "just one more thing to do"?  Perhaps I should just give up and be medicated the second I go into labor.  During out last class my happy place was cuddled up on our living room couch.  It truly is a very comfy couch and a happy place to be, but there are way a few things about the room that drive me nuts -- so while it is a happy place, it's probably not the "perfect" happy place. 

Where is your happy place?

Can I borrow it?

Overall, I've been happy with this pregnancy.  It sure was an unexpected surprise.  It's been so fun to feel him kicking around in there.  I think I'll miss that when he's out, and not so quiet :).  It will be very fun to see where this next journey takes us.  Hopefully we'll be ready.

2010 in review

It seems like all my days are the same and run together until I took a minute to realize that another year has come and gone.  Amazingly all those mundane days resulted in a busy, okay year.  Everything changes and yet seems to stay the same.

In the fall hubby and I discovered that we would be welcoming our first child.  I had been so, so, so tired and run down.  I thought it was related to the stress of work, but around the time I became so tired the stressful work conditions had been resolved and were almost history.  My boss asked me if I could be pregnant.  I laughed and told her no way, impossible and then I wondered.... 

I had long since given up on the idea of having a family of my own and I really enjoy just spending time with my husband - just us.  Sure, 50 years down the road we may be lonely, but for now, it is pure bliss.  While we don't have a huge income - we have enough for what we need and enough to plan to make changes to our house, take vacations, and do whatever we want.

I wish I could say I was thrilled when I saw the little "+" on the dip stick.  I wasn't upset or anything, I just thought "Well, that's different."  I left a "present" for hubby when he came home with the news and I got a text back "Wow".  He's excited, but it's a shock for us both. 

The news has been very overwhelming, but at the appointment at the doctor did an ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat and little arm.  It's hard not to be just a little excited at that point, but I was still overwhelmed and wouldn't say "excited".  Twelve weeks later we were at the 20 week ultrasound where we were able to find out the gender of our child.  At that point - it's impossible not be in love.  I don't know that I'll be a very good mom, but there's no doubt I will love my child.

I am excited for April 30th - when we will meet my son.  (Yes, he will arrive on his due date because everything else has worked out exactly as I've planned so far- please send the dripping sarcasm in that phrase.) 

Overall, I have felt very lucky that this pregnancy has not been so tough.  I've avoided morning sickness and nausea for the most part - meat is disgusting, but it is now getting better.  I have continued to work out and every test seems to be normal and healthy - I hope that continues to be the case.

Decisions

"At times men are perplexed and full of trouble..."  I don't remember who said that quote, but it is true.  I think it is fascinating to watch people -- at any time, but particularly during times of confusion or in a state of minor emergency.  Watching a little child process something they are seeing for the first time is amazing.  Observing the individual complaining about circumstances that could have been avoided if they had considered the consequences rather than living on impulse.  Life is experienced through "living", but I think a lot of life can be learned through viewing too.

When life throws hard things at you, how do you cope with them?  When life is "easy" are you grateful?  While my life isn't quite as I imagined it to be I wouldn't change much about it at all.  I have learned a lot watching the experiences of others.  Some things I have tried or would love to try to implement things in my life.  Other things have made me more aware of behaviors that would be best avoided, not only for my own personal happiness, but to make the lives of those whom I affect easier.

I am grateful to all those people who have been example of positive and the polar opposite examples to me.  I wonder who I would be without experience that I have enjoyed and observed. 

Love list

Lately I have felt that life is very mundane.  I do the same thing every day that it is easy to forget all the many little things that I am grateful for.  I'm stealing someone else's post to see if this will help me feel better about where I am in life:

10 Things I'm thankful for:

1. My husband:  We've been married 7 years ago today.  I've loved every single moment and am looking to so many more.

2.  To not be hurt by a bad economy:  With so many people struggling with their homes, loss of jobs, unable to feed their families, I feel almost guilty that I am glad the economy allows my husband to keep his job, but still come home early enough to spend more time with me.

3.  To have a job:  Not only a job, but a career where I feel like I can make a difference in the world.  Not very many people can say that.

4.  Health:  This past year my husband and I have worked hard to improve our health and fitness.  I am thrilled that we have seen physical benefits, but I am more have a good understanding on how to remain healthy and be so clear into old age.

5.  Family:  I'm admittedly a bad daughter, granddaughter, sister, and aunt, but I love my family and my husband's family even though I don't show it.  It is good to have a support system.

6.  Technology:  How cool is Google?  If you have a random question about soil samples, bam, you can find it in a matter of seconds.  It's enough to make me want to try to garden.

7.  Farmers:  I'm so glad I don't have to grow my own food.  I'm afraid I would die.

8.  A good massage:  There's nothing like a spa day - whether it be a massage, facial, pedicure, etc to bring energy back into the tired body.

9.  Water:  I like waterfalls, drinking water, looking at the ocean, the sound of rain.  Water is a very invigorating life source.

10.  Lastly, but hardly least:  My testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation.  I can't imagine living without knowing the purpose to life and that there is so much more than what I currently am experiencing.

A whole new blog on how my husband sucks....

Remember the Robert Browning poem written for his beloved wife?  "How do I love thee, let me count the ways..."?  This blog is the opposite of that.

I had started a blog about nothing, when my husband said "you're not hungry are you?"  It is 7:00 and we were going to call to order dinner from Cafe Rio for our "it's Saturday, let's sit on the couch and not let the lady cook day."  I said that I was kind of hungry and asked him to call (we have the number in both of our cell phone address books - that's how pathetic we are.  Worse than that, the kid at Cafe Rio knows our order before we even reach the pick up counter).  Anyway, Terry picked up the phone, dialed and passed it to me, disrupting my blog and saying "are you going to write a whole new blog on how your husband sucks?" so that is what I am going to do...

1. 

Even though he is very frustrating sometimes, I can't think of any reasons why he sucks.  I don't know of anyone else who would put up with my many idiosyncrasies.  He read me an article tonight advising women to stop looking for Mr. Right because they will never find him.  While Mr. Perfect does not exist I can confirm that Mr. Right does.  I found him at the perfect time and have had a perfect life since.

Happy almost 7th anniversary, Toad.

Love, The Lady

Global warming?

The news has come out that researchers may have fudged some of their numbers to prove that global warming exists and that we humans are destroying out planet. Climategate has hit the news. Whether they have or have not is not the issue I want to tackle. I think the damning evidence that it is below freezing constitutes sufficient proof that something is up with our planet. Is it the next ice age?

My poor Earth. It has existed for so long and gone through so many cycles of life and change, to her this is probably just another phase. The fact that I am on the planet during this change is significant - to me. Extreme heat and extreme cold confirm to me that Ms. Earth is moody and is looking for a change. (Could it be Earth menopause?)

Just after Thanksgiving, around the beginning of December I was walking to my office. There was no snow on the ground yet, but it was bone-chilling cold. (As an arthritic woman, I know what bone chilling is...) I was enduring the cold and glad there was no snow; however, I was looking forward to snow because it may warm things up. Fast forward less than two weeks or so and now we have snow. Enough that (were it ever to get warm enough) it won't melt. It has not warmed up at all. If anything it is even colder.

I am hoping that winter will say goodbye by March and that we will enjoy a nice Spring. However, given our moody planet, it may be a short Spring and she will walk us right into a blistering hot Summer. I like the hot. I like getting into my car in mid-July and having a suffocating heat. It's like a great big hug. I don't like the hot steering wheel and I'm sure come Summer I will have something to complain about.

In the meantime, I will endure the winter because I know that it will not last forever. I will be patient and wait for the Earth to get over herself. I hope she can go back to the way she was in my lifetime without too much change.

Making Time

In an attempt to improve accountability and productivity in our office we were introduced to an accountability coach. For a ton of money per hour she gave us "tools" to "fix ourselves."

No one is perfect. Everyone has one thing or another they can improve on. Everyone can learn to be a little more accountable.

In one of our one-on-one meetings she told me to throw out all of my to do lists and use a tool she referred to as a "Complete Each Day Completely." First of all, as a to do list addict how am I to simply do away with the list? Without my task list I am convinced I would be unable to do my job - how would I know which client needed what?! Her rationale is that people who use to do lists try to cram too much into one day. She claims that we believe we can "make time."

Yesterday I made a short list of things to do when I got home. Nothing huge - simply a few little things (vacuum, weeding, make dinner, and go to the gym). Sadly, the only thing that got done was the gym.

This morning I woke up at 4:30am just because. However, in that amount of time I did my vacuuming and threw stuff into a crockpot for dinner. Two things on my "to do list" were done. I think I understand why to do lists can be detrimental - it can be completely devastating when things on the list are left undone. Added stress. No fun.

Even if I don't physically have a list written down there is always a to do list running in my head -- laundry, pay bills, pick up dry cleaning, call family, church stuff, and on and on and on.

Is it possible to exist without a to do list? Is it possible to have a to do list without "making time" and waking up at an thinkable hour because there are things that need to be done and I am trying to make time?

It's been awhile

T tells me that my blog has dropped to the "obscure" list on the many, many blogs he follows.

For our birthday we decided to get a laptop. For months now we've been sitting on the couch watching whatever shows we have piled up on the Tivo (oh I'm sorry, our Tivo died and now we have the horrible DirectTV DVR -- that is a blog for another time). Anyway, we've frequently mentioned how convenient it would be to be able to sit on the couch enjoying our time together all while working, Facebooking (is that a verb?), and other diversionary tactics to keep us multi-tasking so that we feel productive all while watching football games that never seem to progress.

The laptop is great. There is truly nothing better than schlumping on the couch with the world at my fingertips. Sometimes it is too much power. Where to go...what to do. I generally just end up playing Maijong - a fantastically addicting tile game that could be similar to dominos -- depending on what version is played.

So with the new laptop and the additional hour of "free time" I have found each day, perhaps I can revive this blog to a more satisfactory status.

There is one great downside to the laptop; however, it has greatly decreased the amount of cuddle time we enjoy each night. Perhaps I will need to introduce a time limit.

So many random thoughts running through my head, but all will have to be for another time. Time's up.

Is it Fall yet?

About a week before Labor Day something happened. It must've been a full moon or something, but all of a sudden I became so excited for Fall & Halloween.

It could have been that hubby has been on a "destroy every living branch in our yard" kick and removed branches from a very dead plum tree. Now the poor, bare tree has nothing but a trunk and a few large limbs -- it would look awesome with little paper ghosts hanging from it. The power company has come and "leveled" off tress that were a nuisance to them. They must get great pleasure in doing really crumby work. Another factor for the excitement may mean that I can almost ignore my yard and not feel guilty for it. Leaves are supposed to be dead in the Fall.

The autumn truly is my season. I was born in the Fall - I think mother nature knew that I could only be happy this time of year. I love the start of school - even though I'm not in it anymore, new pencils and school clothes still make me happy. That explains the lack of variety in my wardrobe. I have absolutely no Spring/Summer clothes and the winter is just recycled Fall-wear. It is probably for that reason alone that the Winter is bearable. I hate winter. Aside from the Christmas season, there is really nothing good about it.

Speaking of Christmas reminds me of decorating. While my basement is exploding with red and green decor (and a huge Christmas tree box that is always in the way), Fall is probably my next biggest decorating season. Aside from that the house stays the exact same way from January - October -- except this year. I think I'm pulling out the pumpkins and witches this weekend - half way to October, that is perfectly acceptable.

I just received my Crate & Barrel & Coldwater Creek catalogs. It's a good thing I can't go into debt for just thinking of all the things that I want.

So, it may be a little early, but Happy Fall everyone.

Life is messy

I love clean. I clean for fun. I read books on cleaning. (Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House is a complete and "fun" read). Clean makes me happy. It makes me feel good. I feel like I have accomplished something and conquered my filthy environment.

A Bissel commerical had the tag "Life's messy. Clean it up". It figures a vacuum would give this gem of wisdom. (I hate vacuuming most of all -- I'm never satisfied and there's too much equipment and it still doesn't get all the corners and filth.)

Life is messy. Everyone has problems, struggles, "dirt". I'm just finishing up a series of books that walks through the premortal/mortal life. I wonder what it will be like to get to postmortal life and compare with what we once knew and what we have actually accomplished (or didn't accomplish).

I wish there was a way I could save my loved ones from their own dirt. Wouldn't it be great to have someone who could keep me away from my own dirt! I guess the good news is, it's just dirt... and there are lots of ways to get clean again. Too bad we it's so hard to remember that it's easier to stay clean when we are having so much playing in the yard.

Cold v. flu

Just as the weekend was starting, hubby said that he was congested. He also had a headache, but that is not uncommon given that he gets a headache anytime there is a shift in barometer pressure. All of the rain we have had the last few weeks just adds to that pressure.

Sunday morning I had the pleasure of waking up with a congested head. As the day progressed it just became worse and worse. I went to bed at 9:30 after taking 2 or 3 naps during the day.

Monday I have aching hips and joints and tunnel vision. I want to put a bullet through my head just to relieve the pressure and to see if I can breathe again. I Googled the difference between a cold and the flu. I am certain I do not have H1N1 (swine flu). I am fairly confident that I just have a cold and that by next week I should be myself again. I sure hope this week goes by fast!

I did learn some nasty facts about the flu vs. the cold that I will not share. Basically, unfortunately, this will not kill me – even though I wish it would. I would be much happier.

While I believe my husband passed this lovely cold on to me I do not believe he is suffering nearly as much as I. I wonder if I can give it back?

Does running ever become "fun"?

So in my best attempt not to let "middle-age" (is that really where I am?) get to me I've been working my tooshie off at the local rec center and at a CrossFit gym. I can't say anything has particularly changed in the year I've been going. Maybe the fat has shifted to other places - I have found muscles that I didn't know I had.

Yesterday's CrossFit workout seemed really simple - run 400 meters and do 50 squats 4 times. So basically - run about a mile and do 200 squats. At the rec center I've been doing run/walk intervals for 2.5 miles. The CF workout should not be hard. After my first set of squats my legs were jello. By the end of the workout I was ready to be done.

I am glad that I cannot go to CF on Friday's - today's workout looked like death. If it didn't kill you - you would want it to! Why is it that people seem to like to kill themselves?! And why is it that I am one of them?

Toad read me the most hilarious article on "Why I Hate Jogging" http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/21/run-forrest-run-why-i-hate-jogging/

Sometimes satire is so fun. If you hate to jog - you should check it out!

Remember when...

Last night the slowing dying Sunday evening soap opera, Desperate Housewives, bid farewell to the trampy Edie Britt (played by Nicolette Sheridan). Back in the day when a show was going in to its television grave or the writers ran out of ideas they would have show to relive some of the moments that the viewers shared. Generally it was a sappy moment in time that was like looking through a photo album of old friends and “remembering when”.

Watching the episode last night, I felt betrayed by the “remember when” moments that I didn’t remember because I wasn’t invited. It has been obvious that the character is under-developed that no one could blame Ms. Sheridan for leaving a show that obviously did not appreciate her. The episode didn’t even show one moment that a viewer had previously seen, but what can you expect from a show that writes itself into a corner and then suddenly moves forward 5 years.

It’s times like this that I miss “old” TV. I have never been interested in “reality TV” of any sort from Survivor to American Idol or Dancing with the Stars – none of it has any appeal. I want a show with characters I can love or hate and I can forget about them until I have time to be friends again. I don’t want my television shows to mix in with my news and my real life. Let me have an hour to forget about the mess I have around me and then let me get back to it.

Media is a living, evolving thing. As the internet has put the newspaper industry to bed, so are cable/satellite television and the DVR being blamed for today’s low quality television. Networks are competing with so many other channels – including themselves that they don’t have time to allow the average view to become vested in their program. DVRs have made advertisers weary of paying high prices for something viewers are just going to skip over.

Personally, I like my DVR (I loved my TiVo – the regular DVR from Direct TV has serious issues, but that is a rant for another time) and I don’t see the difference between watching “live” TV and leaving the room when the commercials are on or sitting on my couch and watching them flash by – at least in that moment I see what is being advertised and I must watch any Mac or Sonic commercial. See, advertisers just need to be savvy and TV network big-shots need to have more faith in their programming and find writers who can creatively and intelligently maximize the characters they have created.

Why can’t people just be people?

I received the following clip in an email from a co-worker. I thought it was very cute.



As my day continued I realized how very accurate this video is and how very sad that a dog and elephant can look past differences, but people see a different color skin or hear a different language and completely shut down.

Last week I attended a forum on immigration in Utah and the U.S. presented by the American Immigration Lawyer Association National President. Charles Kuck is one of the nicest, genuine people I have ever met – even if he is a lawyer! Actually, truth be known, immigration lawyers are probably the best type of lawyers – but that is a rant for another time.

The Deseret News published an article about the forum. It is hard to summarize 2 hours of information into 2 columns. It was the comments I found most troubling. I can’t believe the ignorance of people. There are so many people who are anti-immigration, but they have no idea what they are talking about.

Take for example, “make them all come in legally”. That would be great, if our government allowed for that. Because of poorly planned laws implemented by Bill Clinton illegal immigration jumped from about a million per year to over 12 million because it became too difficult to do it “legally”. Over half the 12 million people who come on visas overstay – the majority of them are from Asia not Mexico. Did you know that if a U.S. citizen wants to sponsor his Mexican brother for a green card, the wait is 62 years? I’d cross a desert too.

The state legislature has over half a dozen immigration bills this session. I’m not normally an advocate, but I see how inhumane and discriminatory some of these bills are and I am appalled, so believe it or not I wrote my representative and I got a response back, amazing – she said my opinion mattered, even though it was the minority. There are so many people who are writing their ignorant comments (such as can be found on the comments of the Deseret News article) to the legislature – it reinforces to me how important it is to be informed. Maybe I’ll need to become an advocate after all.

Obama: What I want for you

Did you see this sweet letter from President Obama that appeared in Parade a couple weeks ago - it's taken me awhile... http://www.parade.com/news/2009/01/barack-obama-letter-to-my-daughters.html

A world of color - almost

Am I the only person who has a better life in her head that in reality?

Granted, I have a pretty great life. I am very blessed and am incredibly glad for the things and opportunities I have been given. But, being a perfectionist – it is hard not to have things just the way I want them. (It also doesn’t help that 9 times out of 10 – I have no idea what I want).

Today’s rant is brought to you courtesy of my living room. Several years ago when we bought our home – all of the holes left from the prior owner’s art drove me crazy. I filled some of the holes in, but I could still see them. Many of them were probably not visible anymore, but knowing they were once their drove me a little crazy.

Over the holidays I found a couple of Home Depot gift cards and decided that once the Christmas decorations were put away I would finally begin the much discussed quest of painting. I toyed with the idea of having a painter, but the idea of taking time off to be home and the price convinced me that we could do it ourselves.

Picking out the colors was easy. I found a “hazelnut creme” and “skipper” (a deep blue/grey) that were pretty. We picked up the gallons and headed home. My “hazelnut creme” ended up being – well, white and “skpper” ended up being a baby blue with a touch of grey. Grrrr. Oh well, it covers up the nail holes

I am to the point where I am frustrated that my house is torn apart and I have so much more to go. This last weekend I got one coat of a two foot space painted. I have a feeling it will be August before my house is put back together.

To top it off – I was looking for sconces this evening and found a red painting that I loved. I wonder what Toad will think about painting the room red. (An on-going battle I have yet to win….)